Some people can learn from other people's experiences, and others need to learn "hands-on", so to speak. I've always been the person who needed to learn on her own...but, I like to think that over the years that I've been walking with the Lord, that I am now able to learn some lessons in other ways...and sometimes, He needs to show me. :)
I will be 45 years old this summer...I am NOT getting any younger! As some of you may know, I homeschool my 4 children and also have fibromyalgia. Yesterday and today, I am watching my adorable, 18 month old nephew, Ty, overnight for my sister and brother-in-law. For years after I had my youngest, Anna, I begged God (and my husband) for another baby...even though with each pregnancy, my fibro seemed to get worse. When my sister was pregnant with Ty, I really begged God for just "one more" baby...or that He would take away my "baby craving" if it wasn't His will for us. I know many people who have the "just one more child" craving, and are in the process of adoption...still others are involved in different ministries with children...where the Lord is using their nurturing spirits to minister to many children. In my case, Lori had Ty...and I started having the priviledge of watching him a couple of days a week when he was months old....and the Lord answered both of my prayers. I enjoyed (still do enjoy) the joy of having a baby in the house...and to be a blessing to my sister, and the Lord has removed the deep "craving" for another child.
Having Ty overnight for 2 days has again, shown me that, physically...having another baby would be very, very hard on me. When Anna was just minutes old, my blood pressure shot up very quickly and very high...they told me I could have a stroke, a seizure or die....and my husband said, that is it...Anna is our last child. Oh, how I fought him on this!!! And, again....I have to humbly go to him and tell him he was right...again. A very dear friend of mine had her 8th baby recently, and I started thinking..."I could do this again"...and again, the Lord has shown me (since I have trouble learning lessons the first time!) that that is NOT His will for us now.
In a few minutes, I will tuck in my little ones, then rock Ty in the rocking chair that I rocked my last 2 babies in...and pray that he goes to sleep and STAYS asleep tonight! LOL (as opposed to last night :) )
I am so grateful for the lessons that Lord has gently taught me...and especially for the children that He has blessed me with...including the little guy that my sister so generously "shares" with me! Praying that you all have a peaceful night! ~Sue~
2 comments:
I had the same craving. Then I started watching my niece 4 days a week from 5:30a.m. to 4:30p.m. everyday. Now mom had another one and in seven weeks I will have her so my craving is all gone. I will love these two and teach them about Jesus. He has a way of showing us what is best for our lives.
Thank you, Sue, for being so open about the craving. Craig and I have gone through this, too. It was especially hard for me to accept the fact that I was only 27 when we could no longer have children. (Of course, I was also 27 when our fifth child was born, so I can't complain!!) I had nestled in for the long haul, and desired to receive as many children as the Lord would give. It took years for me to get over it. I'd still be willing to start all over again, but as the children get older, I look forward to becoming a grandmother in a few years, Lord willing. Either way, it's a comfort to know that God's will for us is perfect -- for our good and His glory!
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