~Seems like for a long time now, I've been trying so hard to 'be strong'...to keep going. I had a particularly hard winter with my fibromyalgia...and looking back, I think I started worsening when my son had his first surgery at age 6 and had 3 months in a body cast. Thru out that, my husband , who works night turn was home a lot, I was homeschooling 2 children and had a 3 year old...it was a long winter. Then, my son got the cast off, and had another surgery 8 months later to remove hardware and had to recover from that. About 4 months later, my 4 year old daughter had to have surgery on her tonsils and adnoids....fast forward to this winter, when 9 months after her surgery....both of them came down with the whooping cough...lasting almost 10 weeks....it was another long winter.All of this to say that I've noticed that ever since his first surgery, my health has declined and so has our home routine. I've been trying, Oh, how I've been trying (in my own strength) to just "do the next thing"....take care of everyone, keep it all going. I finally, a number of weeks ago, went forward for prayer, and a gentleman whom I didn't know prayed for me....then stopped and told me he sensed God telling him that I was a very strong woman....he had an image of a strong oak tree...but that God was telling him that I needed to be able to bend with the winds of adversity when they come...to rest and get re-nurtured from my source of life...my living water. I went home and cried and prayed and thought about this for weeks...and gradually, the mental depression and (ok, I'll call it what it is) self-pity started easing. I tried to remember to rest, but am still not very good at it. But, I am called back for living water again and again thru out my day now...short pauses just to breathe...talk to Him and rest in His arms for a few minutes.....breathe again, and go on.
Willow trees are my favorite type of tree and have been since I was a little girl. They need to be rooted near a water supply and are so supple and bend so gracefully in the wind....watching the way that they are tossed about in a storm is almost like watching a dance....they gracefully bend which ever way their Creator tosses them....and when the sun comes out (and it always does) they are straight and strong....still doing their graceful dance in the gentle breezes as well.
I want to be like the willow....dancing and rejoicing during the gentle breezes...always giving thanks to my Creator....and gracefully bending (not breaking) during the storms of life. I thank and praise God for sharing this with my friend from church....I love when I feel as if He is revealing a lesson just for me.....now to remember to heed it!
Have many more doctors appointments coming up....checking gallbladder specifically as well as adrenal fatigue....will be praying that my doctor can shed some light on these things....but am now praying for His plan to be revealed and what does He want me to do....and as I am learning to bend and to bow down and rest....I trust that He will always care for me and meet my needs. May God bless your day! ~Sue~
