Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Homeschool Humor: Part 1

Alrighty, so I'm writing a short humorous book all about the adventures of homeschooling. I am going to try to post excerpts of it once a week. There is nothing bad in it, and it is really funy (If I do say so myself). This week, the excerpt will be from chapter 1. If you don't think it is funny, sorry! I thought it all up originally, so some things might not be funny. Then again, if it came from me, it just might be... So sit back, relax, and get ready for: EVIL PENCIL ATTACK!
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“Mom! Where’d my pencil go? It was right here a minute ago!” A scream peals out over the phone call, educational computer game, and Leapster noises. “Honey, I’m a little busy! Look in the junk drawer!” Mom answers, frantically trying to find her own pen to write down a date for a conference. “Mommy, my crayon disappeared!” Anna tries to get her mother’s attention, but failing. This is what happens at least ten times a day in our house: no writing supplies! Now, like any good mom, my mom goes out at least twice a year and buys out the pencil section of Office Max. She distributes the color coded pencils, normally twenty to each child. Off they go, proudly vowing to keep them all in one place and use one per two weeks. One week later: “Mom, I can’t find my pencil!” Sound familiar? It happens to all, except maybe to the people who attract organization like flies (Ooh, I have always despised that saying!) But why is it that they go and leave us broken hearted? Maybe because they are EVIL!

Evil pencils, you say? You’re probably thinking, “Okay, Sara, time to check you into the asylum!” Don’t worry; I’m not offended; a lot of people have said that to me! Now think back: *THE PASSAGE OF TIME IS WHIRLING* When were you ever mean to pencils? I mean, really diabolically nasty to pencils? Maybe you’ve bitten them out of habit, or even broke off their precious tip while writing furiously. Okay, so those accident s aren’t our fault… but why do pencils hold such a grudge? Because secretly they are evil, human-hating supplies that prey on homeschoolers. What can we do about them? Buy them in bulk, but only distribute one per week per child/adult. That way, when they come around next week complaining about a lost pencil, you can calmly hand them their new weekly pencil, feeling like super mom for finally besting the beast of pencils. Oh, and by the way, have you seen my pencil?

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